Dear Hollywood,
My name is Kenya and I want to give you my CV as I apply for a comedy film to be made courtesy of my leaders’ characteristics:
I pride myself with the most comic leaders in the world. As a matter of fact, if there was a Grammy for the funniest leaders, Kenya would always scoop the award. Picture this, the Mp’s are constantly dosing in parliament during sessions, in fact it’s a prerequisite for you to be an Mp. They also make the most stupid comments when addressing the house. In fact try and Google Khalwale Bonny, he rates top in my list of the funniest Mp’s, though he is out of the house currently and probably will come back into power on a governor’s seat.
The Executive on the other hand is always fighting and they are always witch hunting each other not to mention that they always come up with the most unrealistic policies. Imagine they have set aside a good amount of funds to help restructure southern Sudan, while Kenyans are dying of hunger. They have also declined to call it a national disaster even if it has affected over 1 million Kenyans. In addition, as a way of tackling the issue they have introduced a hotline to call while you are almost dying of starvation. Now who can come with such an idiotic idea as that? My executive would.
But there is also the Judiciary; this is a confused lot, despite it being composed of scholars. They never seem to quite get their act together, be it during sentencing or nominating their judges. How do you explain this, Paul Muite a Senior Council was requested to defend a local serial killer (Onyancha), as he was coming from appearing at his own case!
However the trophy for the group that does not completely get it is the Nairobi City council. You should try and visit City Hall when they are electing the mayor. From mimicking each other, to hulling insults, to throwing chairs, to physically assaulting each other: you name it and the got it……… Picture this former Mayor Joe Aketch has come back into the game as a nominated councilor. Former mayor majiwa (who I had earlier written an advice to) is back into the game, this time as a councilor, despite the KACC charging him with corruption cases. Only in Kenya.
Now these two are the icing to the cake, the 2 Pillars, Players, Principles…..whatever you want to call them. This is his Excellency the President of Kenya and the Prime Minister. These two I respect a lot, not only because they are able to lead the other funny groups that I have described, but also because they were able to provide peace for us in 2008. But they have a great since of humor, actually they top my list. When aggravated they haul the most funniest insults: mavi ya kuku, kubafu, bure kabisa……. The Prime Minister in particular uses some interesting but wise metaphor: “sasa wewe ni kama Yule fisi ambye hakunywi maji na hataki wengine wakunywe” or “wewe ni kama Yule bibi ambaye anayeaacha bwana yake na kwenda kurandaranda………..” surely! But you cant blame them, how do you expect them to cope while leading a bunch, like the one I just have described.
The production will not disappoint, it will be such a block buster.
Looking forward to a favorable response.
Yours faithfully,
Kenya.
My name is Kenya and I want to give you my CV as I apply for a comedy film to be made courtesy of my leaders’ characteristics:
I pride myself with the most comic leaders in the world. As a matter of fact, if there was a Grammy for the funniest leaders, Kenya would always scoop the award. Picture this, the Mp’s are constantly dosing in parliament during sessions, in fact it’s a prerequisite for you to be an Mp. They also make the most stupid comments when addressing the house. In fact try and Google Khalwale Bonny, he rates top in my list of the funniest Mp’s, though he is out of the house currently and probably will come back into power on a governor’s seat.
The Executive on the other hand is always fighting and they are always witch hunting each other not to mention that they always come up with the most unrealistic policies. Imagine they have set aside a good amount of funds to help restructure southern Sudan, while Kenyans are dying of hunger. They have also declined to call it a national disaster even if it has affected over 1 million Kenyans. In addition, as a way of tackling the issue they have introduced a hotline to call while you are almost dying of starvation. Now who can come with such an idiotic idea as that? My executive would.
But there is also the Judiciary; this is a confused lot, despite it being composed of scholars. They never seem to quite get their act together, be it during sentencing or nominating their judges. How do you explain this, Paul Muite a Senior Council was requested to defend a local serial killer (Onyancha), as he was coming from appearing at his own case!
However the trophy for the group that does not completely get it is the Nairobi City council. You should try and visit City Hall when they are electing the mayor. From mimicking each other, to hulling insults, to throwing chairs, to physically assaulting each other: you name it and the got it……… Picture this former Mayor Joe Aketch has come back into the game as a nominated councilor. Former mayor majiwa (who I had earlier written an advice to) is back into the game, this time as a councilor, despite the KACC charging him with corruption cases. Only in Kenya.
Now these two are the icing to the cake, the 2 Pillars, Players, Principles…..whatever you want to call them. This is his Excellency the President of Kenya and the Prime Minister. These two I respect a lot, not only because they are able to lead the other funny groups that I have described, but also because they were able to provide peace for us in 2008. But they have a great since of humor, actually they top my list. When aggravated they haul the most funniest insults: mavi ya kuku, kubafu, bure kabisa……. The Prime Minister in particular uses some interesting but wise metaphor: “sasa wewe ni kama Yule fisi ambye hakunywi maji na hataki wengine wakunywe” or “wewe ni kama Yule bibi ambaye anayeaacha bwana yake na kwenda kurandaranda………..” surely! But you cant blame them, how do you expect them to cope while leading a bunch, like the one I just have described.
The production will not disappoint, it will be such a block buster.
Looking forward to a favorable response.
Yours faithfully,
Kenya.
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