MAKOFI

Makofi. Makofi, Makofi.............................TUPIGE MAKOFI!!!!!!!

This is a culture that is deeply engraved in us Kenyans: when we laugh we clap, when we mourn me clap and even when we are engaged in fight that we need to defend ourselves we still clap! However, according to history, "Makofi" should be made when appreciating a person, a deed, an activity or an act..

So as Dan Chizi Aceda would say,".....kwa uvumilivu Wakenya..." Tuanze: Tupige Makofi!


  ...For being so Understanding              Wakenya: Tupige Makofi!

  ... For being rated as so Patriotic             Wakenya: Tupige Makofi!

... For being so Divided                           Wakenya: Tupige Makofi!

...For being so aware of our Diversity       Wakenya: Tupige Makofi!

...For being so reluctant to accept our Diversity Wakenya: Tupige Makofi!

.... For being so ignorant of the governance processWakenya: Tupige Makofi!

...For being so fast to blame our current status our Political leaders Wakenya: Tupige Makofi!

...For voting in so frequently our Political Leaders         Wakenya: Tupige Makofi!

...For so frequently making unsound judgements           Wakenya: Tupige Makofi!

...For not undersanding that Unity is a strength                 Wakenya: Tupige Makofi!

...For being so individualistic and opinionated about our fellow country   
                                                       men   Wakenya: Tupige Makofi!
 ....For accepting our vices and continuing to brag about them     Wakenya: Tupige Makofi!

 FOR NOTICING OUR PROBLEMS AND WILLING TO CHANGE THINGS COME 2012: Wakenya Tupige Makofi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

DEAR HOLLYWOOD@ 3:16pm April 5, 2011

Dear Hollywood,

My name is Kenya and I want to give you my CV as I apply for a comedy film to be made courtesy of my leaders’ characteristics:

I pride myself with the most comic leaders in the world. As a matter of fact, if there was a Grammy for the funniest leaders, Kenya would always scoop the award. Picture this, the Mp’s are constantly dosing in parliament during sessions, in fact it’s a prerequisite for you to be an Mp. They also make the most stupid comments when addressing the house. In fact try and Google Khalwale Bonny, he rates top in my list of the funniest Mp’s, though he is out of the house currently and probably will come back into power on a governor’s seat.

The Executive on the other hand is always fighting and they are always witch hunting each other not to mention that they always come up with the most unrealistic policies. Imagine they have set aside a good amount of funds to help restructure southern Sudan, while Kenyans are dying of hunger. They have also declined to call it a national disaster even if it has affected over 1 million Kenyans. In addition, as a way of tackling the issue they have introduced a hotline to call while you are almost dying of starvation. Now who can come with such an idiotic idea as that? My executive would.

But there is also the Judiciary; this is a confused lot, despite it being composed of scholars. They never seem to quite get their act together, be it during sentencing or nominating their judges. How do you explain this, Paul Muite a Senior Council was requested to defend a local serial killer (Onyancha), as he was coming from appearing at his own case!
However the trophy for the group that does not completely get it is the Nairobi City council. You should try and visit City Hall when they are electing the mayor. From mimicking each other, to hulling insults, to throwing chairs, to physically assaulting each other: you name it and the got it……… Picture this former Mayor Joe Aketch has come back into the game as a nominated councilor. Former mayor majiwa (who I had earlier written an advice to) is back into the game, this time as a councilor, despite the KACC charging him with corruption cases. Only in Kenya.

Now these two are the icing to the cake, the 2 Pillars, Players, Principles…..whatever you want to call them.   This is his Excellency the President of Kenya and the Prime Minister. These two I respect a lot, not only because they are able to lead the other funny groups that I have described, but also because they were able to provide peace for us in 2008. But they have a great since of humor, actually they top my list. When aggravated they haul the most funniest insults: mavi ya kuku, kubafu, bure kabisa……. The Prime Minister in particular uses some interesting but wise metaphor: “sasa wewe ni kama Yule fisi ambye hakunywi maji na hataki wengine wakunywe” or “wewe ni kama Yule bibi ambaye anayeaacha bwana yake na kwenda kurandaranda………..” surely! But you cant blame them, how do you expect them to cope while leading a bunch, like the one I just have described.

The production will not disappoint, it will be such a block buster.
Looking forward to a favorable response.

Yours faithfully,
Kenya.

THE TOP (IV) PUBLIC FIGURES@2:05pm November 15, 2010

So i have a list of politicians that i think have remained relevant despite them been around for some time:                        
(I) Hon Martha Karua a.k.a The Iron Lady.
She is vocal of cos a force to reckon. And yes behind those big, scary eyes lies alot of intelligence, that has made her the queen o debates in the 10th parliament. She has also managed to walk in mud and emerge clean, remember the scandal of Wamigunda? She is a risk taker and she moves with whatever " she feels is working for her".

                        

  (II) Atwoli a.k.a. The noise maker, Mr. COTU. This guy can make noise about everything, just name it. The MP's are dozing in Parliament, and he is on it,NSSF is adjusting the premiums, he is on it, the constitution, he is still on it. And even if his arguments are not most of the time factual, we still find our selves listening to him. Plus he was the reining "king of bling"  until Hon Mike-Sonko-mbuvi came into the
                                     scene.                                                   
                         

(III) Hon Raila Odinga a.k.a Tinga, Jatelo, Nyundo, ODM.......He is arguably the favorite of many Kenyans. He is self driven, has a touch with the common mwananchi- thanks to his good PR skills and yes he has a large following around the country. He is one guy who is not afraid to speak his mind out; and he seems to have interned Ruto well, cos has become his biggest oppose. The media loves him as is depicted by his stories occupying most of the front pages of our local dailies. He may not understand your problems- come on, he belongs to the " Haves" class- but he will make you feel like he does. Who goes to watch football at Kasarani with the common wananchi's in the scorching sun and actually enjoys it? Jatel!  Plus we all love his disses, towards other politicians and the Metaphors e.g wewe nikama
                                              yule bibi ambaye ana acha bwana yake na anaeenda kurandaranda...............
                                              and of cos the insults e.g mchawi........

(IV) Hon William Ruto a.k.a bwana Rift valley, porojo porojo........Now, i have tried to understand why he still lingers in our minds but i still dont have the right assessment. I can only quote his words, " I am a self made politician, i see an oportunity and i grab it". That can also explain why he is such a good investor. Lets get objective, Ruto has succeed in politics by using other people to propel him. He did that to President Moi and sure he has done it to Raila. He is the only politicians, who is able to oppose Hon Raila and feel nothing. In addition, the media does not like him, but he has succeeded in popularizing himself, that they have no choice but to cover stories about him.From going to the Hague, to smoking out snitches of KNHCR, eesh the guy can make a case out of anything. He has made Kenyans glued to his activities as they are constantly waiting for his net move. All i can say he is quite something.

That my list of the top 4 popular public figures. If you have any comment feel free to comment, below. God bless our Public figures and Kenya

A word to MajiwaThursday@ 9:12am October 28, 2010

His Worship, Majiwa i have a few points for you to consider:           
          
(I) You were chosen by ODM out of convenience not cos you are not  dispensable and you have tainted the party's image and i can bet you on my money Agwambo is not your fan right now         
        
(II) You have rewarded the KACC with a good case by having shoddy deals and i bet they wont rest until you are charged since it will help them gain credibility          
       
(III) You have annoyed Nairobians (who are mostly hustlers) by over taxing them especially now that you have raised the parking fee to KSh300            
   
(IV) This is very important to note: You have annoyed the dead, and since they have not had a good burial, they will hunt you down and i bet they will not rest until you have lost your sanity.

A word of advice: RESIGN and try CHURCH to fight off the annoyed spirits...........